Dreams: The Color and Movement of our Lives

I let my eyes wander to the tan colored rug with gray flowers that covers my office floor. It is littered with cherry red felt hearts, burlap, scissors, needles, bits of black embroidery floss, swirls of black and white polka dot ribbon and cream colored cardstock. Yes, it is February 22 and my loved ones have yet to receive my attempt at hand crafted valentines. Sigh. On the floor next to my cushy reading chair where I am perched are two brightly colored nursing journals with catchy subtitles from last year that I hope to read. The shinny purple wrappers from dark chocolate Hershey kisses that clutter my desk catch my tired gaze and remind me of my commitment to a healthy lifestyle. Each of these scenes represents a dream that once filled my mind my aspiring mind. Before discouragement sets in I recall a scene from one of my favorite movies Marilla Cuthbert: You set your heart too much on frivolous things and then crash down into despair when you don't get them. Anne Shirley: I know. I can't help flying up on the wings of anticipation. It's as glorious as soaring through a sunset... almost pays for the thud. Marilla Cuthbert: Well, maybe it does. But I'd rather walk calmly along and do without flying AND thud. Quote from the movie Anne of Avonlea Yes, truly what would our lives look like without our dreams, without our hopes, without our aspirations. Our worlds would be gray and eerily still for our dreams color and move our lives. They are the vibrant color on our black and white pages. They are the gentle breeze or rushing gale that pushes us toward an end. They are what propels our actions and thoughts. They are the bright hope that tomorrow will be different and more beautiful than today. You may think dreams are the frosting on the cake or the frills on a dress; that they are an unnecessary but pleasant part of life. I am here to tell you that dreams are the framework on which the rest of our life is built; they are the cake not the frosting. They are the dress not the frills. Dreams are guidance and structure for our lives. They are vital to our existence as humans. Everyone has a vision whether large or small, many or just one, subconscious or conscious. Some visions are as simple and unformulated as getting out of bed in the morning while others are elaborate and weighty as raising a child in the fear of the Lord. Some goals may take a moment to complete others a lifetime. Some aspirations are attainable like a dress size or a graduating from school while others may be a bit more lofty like flying to the moon in a spacecraft. Our visions make our decisions for us; they discipline us now so we can soar later. My eyes twinkle, my heart races and my smile bursts at the mere thought of a new dream! My heart sings “Oh the possibilities!!” as I clasp my hands in rapture. But before I abandon my rationalism and dive into the sparkling and enticing water of my vision pool, I must carefully consider the happy thoughts dancing in my head. Because of the certain and weighty impact goals will have on the direction of my life, they must be filtered through the siv of the Word of God and its principles. I need to ask myself some provoking questions. Does God’s Word speak specifically to this topic? Is this dream sinful? Will this vision consume me so I neglect my God given responsibilities? Can I use this dream to serve others and God? Will this aspiration promote the lifestyle God requires of me? Am I looking for satisfaction and self-worth in the accomplishment of this goal instead of Christ? Can I give glory to God at the attainment of my goal or will I seek the accolades of men? Will I be able to maintain my character as I press toward this vision? If my hopes comes crashing down around me will I lose my faith in God or my integrity? While these questions do not keep me from dreaming and hoping, (because I could not even if I tried) they do keep me from soaring away from my God on the wings of anticipation. So I let my heart dream! Dream while I am sleeping! Dream when I am awake! But I must dream to the glory of God for He is the One who given my heart the ability to do so. Ps 33:13-15 “The Lord looks from heaven; He sees all the sons of men; From His dwelling place he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, He who fashions the hearts of them all and He who understands their works. “

Light in My Darkness

The son calmly motions me toward the room where his mother rests. His face has changed from before; now it is relaxed and deflated just like all his emotion has drained out. He says “Could you…” I nod and walk with him. He says “I think she….” I say quietly “oh…yes” Wincing mentally as I comprehend his broken hearted half sentences. Apprehension fills my heart and I enter the room quietly. I gently place my stethoscope over her heart. Expecting to hear silence, I am surprised to hear the heart “flickering”. It is not beating but it is not silent. Slowly the flicker fades and I hear the darkness, the darkness of death. My face flushes and tears prickle my eyes. Taking off my stethoscope I look up to the son’s now tearful face and say “I am sorry. I am so sorry”. I hug him, saying it over and over again. “I am sorry, I am so sorry” Oh the darkness that surrounds us in this world. I have seen and felt the darkness but that day I heard the darkness. I heard the darkness of sadness, pain and emptiness; the pain and sadness of a son watching his mother die and the emptiness of a husband losing his wife of 60 years. Yes it is true the darkness of pain and the darkness of sin permeates our everyday lives. Yet this sobering reality does not overwhelm the fact that God is light. What a glorious light it is for He is good and just. His beauty cannot be hidden by the night. God shines His radiance in our darkened world yet we refuse to see it. We like to live in our shadows and spurn the light for it exposes our sin and ugliness. His light is seen in the splendor and intricacy of nature and in our very existence as humans but we will not acknowledge that truth. Most importantly His light is seen in His gracious salvation. He sent his Son to be the Light of the World yet they crucified Him because He brought the light. To this day we as humans still reject God’s Son. We reject His Light. God does not want mankind to live in darkness so to those who accept His salvation He promises light. The darkness threatened my soul that day as I despaired to see the pain and suffering. Yet because I had accepted God’s salvation my flame continued to burn brightly. His light poured down on me as He reminded me through His kindness that I no longer lived in the darkness. He reminded me that though I may hear, see and feel the darkness I am full of His light. My heart can truthfully and passionately say of God “For You light my lamp; The Lord my God illumines my darkness”