The Desire of the Depressed: Life and Freedom

At the gym and ready to sweat it out to the Dixie Chicks but I had forgotten my headset. So it was either 30 minutes of talking to myself while watching sweat drip off my forehead or losing brain cells while tuning into the ever popular sitcoms. Since I didn't have much to say to myself and my life was drama free at this moment I opted for the sitcoms and loss of brain cells. Flipping channels I landed on an infomercial advertising help for those deep in the throes of anxiety and depression. The topic of depression and its many facets has piqued my interest ever since I walked through that valley several years ago. I was curious how they would describe depression and view its cure. The infomercial was filled with glowing testimonials of where these sad hearts had been and where they were going with their new found life. As my legs clipped along so did my brain and thank goodness, for the more I became absorbed in the infomercial the less I heard my legs screaming at me that it had been a while. I took to analyzing these character's stories; specifically noting their confessions of lifelessness and bondage as a sign of their depression. These two themes emerged from each their well-rehearsed speeches. But why? Was it a coincidence that these topics were touched on by each sufferer? Were they instructed to stress them by their employer? Or were these people really speaking from their hearts? Although some reported that they had never really lived until now, others suggested that their life left each time depression struck. Their voices still ring in my ears "I want my life back", "I never knew what living was until now". Along with their desire to really live came their desire for freedom. They felt captivated by their depression with no hope of release. They felt helpless and hopeless. They felt that depression was the boulder that was pulling them under the tossing waves to a watery grave. Life and freedom; it is all they wanted. It almost seems simplistic when I looked at it like that. My legs slowed down as I contemplated the tension between the physical reasons for depression and the spiritual component. My nurses training reminded me that most certainly there can be a chemical imbalance but a life time relationship with God turned my thoughts to the spiritual aspect. I dare not forget that humanity combines tangible and intangible; body and spirit. They are inextricably linked from the moment of conception to the last breath of death. The body without the spirit is dead. Such weighty topics for a workout pastime yet there was no going back, I was captured by the gripping reality that it was these people’s spirits crying; crying for life and freedom. More and more sober thoughts trickled into my analytical mind as I contemplated my life; my life with God. God is the giver of life and promises freedom from the bondage of sin to those who believe in His name. The flood gates were open now and thoughts rushed in like crashing waves. The waves alternated between compassion and overwhelming appreciation as I realized that as a child of God I enjoyed both life and freedom. Compassion and tears poured out of my heart as the images from the infomercial reappeared in my mind. This is what life is like without God and His truth. These are the feelings, emotions, thoughts and actions of a person devoid of the presence of God. Tears of compassion turned to tears of gratitude at the recognition of the immense gift that had been bestowed on me at my salvation. I had been given a vibrant existence and liberty to live as I was created to do. Even in the darkness of my depression I had always possessed life and freedom because my God never abandoned me in that black and tearful night.